The Stillroom

DEATH COMES A KNOCKING

His name is Gary L. Marshall. Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Friend. If you care to read about him, his name was in the Valley News Dispatch.

He departed this life and now we are all sad. Our family and community bade farewell to him yesterday amid the corona virus.

He “went” fast. We were sure he caught covid. One can only imagine the shock of getting the diagnosis of a rare, ravaging, fatal form of cancer. From the day that news was delivered to his last breath was ten days.

HUGS IN THE TIME OF COVID

You don’t realize how many kinds of hugs exist and why each one performs a different function, for lack of a better term.

I guess I never really thought about the value of this simple gesture of affection until this week.

There are quick, how ya’ doin’ hugs with your buds, there are the quick squeeze hugs that say, “you are family and I haven’t seen you in a while but I don’t want to be weird hugs so we will keep it brief yet meaningful”.

If you are with a significant other there may be a rando hug as you pass through a room that says “I still love you even after a hundred frickin’ years”.

Then there are the hugs that say everything when there are no words to speak. The hugs that make you not want to let go of the broken hearted.

FINDING A BRIGHT SPOT

Where is the bright spot in all of this mess? My sister and niece found it when they were present to watch him take his last breaths. It was then they were grateful that they could be present when so many families have suffered not only multiple losses from covid, but could not be there to see them off to their great reward.

As I sit here on this beautiful Wednesday morning, figuring out what I should be doing now that I know this great friend and brother to me is no longer on this earthly plane, I think to myself I will water my garden, harvest whatever is ripe and go take some homemade almost vegetarian chili to my dad. Today is his 91st birthday and no one in our family is more sad that he.

I remember when my sister was married 49 years ago to Gary. When they were leaving the reception I started to cry. I was losing the sister that I fought over the fan with on hot summer nights in the 60’s. “Hey, you are getting more air than me!” Move the fan. Move it back. We were poor and didn’t have air conditioning and by this memory, no oscillating fan either. But then one of her bridesmaids, maybe Peggy Walters came over and gave me a comforting hug and said I wasn’t losing a sister, I was getting another brother. Then I felt much better. So our family really did lose a brother.

Just. Wow.

World keeps spinnin’