The Stillroom

I can’t move because I have a cat on my lap.

I am feeling a little sore and tender today. After my doctor appointment this morning, I’m going to take it easy.

Dad’s funeral has been arranged for Saturday morning with full military honors. It is still hard to believe he is gone but I am happy for him because he missed my mom so much. He had a great summer living at my oldest brothers house. Hot days sunning on the deck and his glass of cold beer on the side table. He loved the heat! He went fast though.

As for me, it is hard to not feel sorry for myself. I know it is wrong. My body is failing me and it is so shocking. I think once this soreness is past and the feet get better, I can have a better outlook. But today, Im just not feeling it.

I guess the cat is going to have to be relocated so I can get up and get ready for another doctor appointment. A month ago I never in a million years knew I would be one of the people I would see doctoring on a regular basis.

The wheels of our medical system just seem to move so slow. I guess with this diagnosis it just doesn’t matter. Especially when one is 67 years old with a particularly pretty great life behind me. I feel like I don’t matter as much and that’s ok. I knew once testing started I’d start to feel shitty and today I do.

I’m grateful for such a loving family and friends that I know care about me. I guess there is never a good time to be sick but to do it around the holidays really sucks.

I might write more later. Just feeling blue at the moment.